Thoughts from a middle class American Woman.

DISCALIMER: This was written from the perspective of a middle class American woman and reflects the thoughts and feelings towards the economic group to which I pertain. The last two paragraphs are written to people who have the same privileges as I, to choose ones own destiny free from fear and have economic mobility and stability.

Jobs. Careers. Choosing one that is right for you.

Recently Andryce sent me one of those email surveys that were so popular back in high school when email was new and exciting. In the survey, a question was asked, “What is your dream career?” Andryce answered it by saying “Who knows, I’ve never been much of a career girl”. For some reason that stuck to me. I was (like normally) in awe of Andryce’s world perspective and her ability to root out what society expects of her from what she simply wants for herself because that is how she finds happiness.
Upon returning from Peru, one of my techniques for preventing reentrance culture shock, was to throw myself back into my culture with a vengeance, and not think too much or have time alone. I searched and searched for a job, because that’s what you have to do to survive out there. After having a dumb temp. job, I realized that I did not want to settle for some job that did not excite me or challenge me. I wanted to start doing something that would make me feel important. I wanted an office, and my own extension; I wanted a salary with full benefits, and a sense of purpose and belonging. I wanted a career. I wanted to succeed. I wanted my time to be consumed by something that would make me feel happy and like I was contributing to the world. Since we spend a majority of our lives at work with people we would not like to associate with outside the walls of our office, why not choose a career that made me feel good, since my life would be work.
In late July I was denied what I thought was my key to happiness, my dream job that would jump-start my career. After I received the phone call of denial, I cried for like 30 minutes. I felt like someone had just shot my puppy. What was a girl to do now? My self worth was flushed down the drain. So I took a part-time job at Options Counseling as social worker and a part-time job at St. Vincent de Paul’s housing program. These jobs keep my busy. I enjoy going to work each day and am very excited to leave work and I love my free weekends and evenings. Up until 2 weeks ago, before Andryce’s email gave me an epiphany; it disappointed me that I did not LOVE what I do, or that I I didn’t feel as though I wanted to pursue social work for my “career”. Work was just work. But I wanted my work to fulfill me not give me ADHD.
I like many young 20 something middle class Americans in my generation, have become victim of what I am coining to be the generation of “Grow-up quick, or else…generation”. I have this internal voice that was placed in me at a young age; maybe it was in fifth grade when we took a quiz on a new computer program that would supposedly map out the career best suited for us. As much as I hate to admit it, I tend to judge myself by what my society expects. At 20 young years of age you should choose your life path and follow if forever, never stray, if you do, you’re a failure; choose your major, spouse, career, place to live, stay there, forever………
I am starting to realize the absolute beauty of not loving my work and not feeling like a disappointment at 24 without a clear idea if my future without a place I’d like to live forever or a spouse or any real authentic feeling of wanting to “settle down”. I am starting to realize that we define ourselves as middle class Americans by what we do. I am running away from that. Not being 100% satisfied in my job as led me to explore more what my community has to offer. It has lead me discover new talents that I hold that I want to develop to make me feel challenged, satisfied and happy. Work shouldn’t define our lives or us. I have found a couple of new hobbies recently, and my hobbies are now becoming my “career”, my “purpose” if you will. I love hobbies! Not loving my work also gives me the liberty to not feel attached to one place forever. It has given me wings. I know that I can pick up and leave, without feeling guilty, or as if I am missing out on an opportunity. Not loving my job to me, means that there is something else, something different out there on my horizon that my curvy road will lead my to. Life is not a straight line nor should we parallel our lives on a forever line. It gives me joy to explore, to try new things, and thanks to Andryce not be a career woman. Rather than a career woman I am a wondering soul who wants life to be spontaneous bumpy ride. Where will I go, and what will I do? Learn to love the divinity of the question mark.
So for anyone who has ever complained about not “loving” your work, be thankful, because there is always something more interesting and new on the other side of the door; if you are willing to try new things and not to settle. Don’t be afraid to walk the curvy line, explore the amazing depth of yourself, discover new talents, and have the courage to be imperfect!